No sugar plums here

T minus one month till the wedding and I’m having some pretty weird wedding-related dreams. O.K., maybe more like wedding nightmares.

Want to know how you can tell this is a dream? 1) That is the kind of perkiness you can only get in dreams. I mean let’s be serious, my boobs haven’t looked like that since 10th grade ever. 2) There is a giant dream bubble above my head.

Two nights ago I dreamed that I picked up my dress from the cleaners and while it definitely was the dress that belonged to me, it was a totally different dress than the one I have and didn’t fit at all. It was a halter dress and was so big that pretty much my entire boobs were showing. This is a ridiculous and impossible dream for many reasons. First, I already have my dress back from the cleaners and have tried it on repeatedly. And second, there is definitely not a possibility that it will be too big. American snack foods are doing their part to ensure quite the opposite in fact.

Then two nights ago I dreamed that I had to get a haircut, which is true. But somehow my sister was the stylist and she cut my hair into a chin length bob. All I kept saying was, maybe it will grow out again before the wedding.

I wish I would just have really wackadoo nightmares because these ones were just realistic enough that when I woke up in the morning I thought “Man, I really need to find someone to alter my dress soon” and then again the next day “What am I going to do about my hair?”.

Last night I was dream free. Thank goodness.

I can’t be the only one having weird wedding dreams. Come on, let’s hear them.

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