Elves vs. Dwarves?

Didn’t the elves and the dwarves team up when it really counted? When the ring was going to fall into the hands of the wrong crowd, didn’t they band together to keep it safe? I wish I knew more about the Lord of the Rings to keep this parable going. On second thought, no I don’t. I’ll have to switch to terms more appropriate for middle earth(?).

You see, here in the real shire there has been a bit of a skirmish brewing between our two local populations. What’s on the line? Is it nuclear testing? Nope, we all agree on that one. Is it the importance of fish and chips to a regular diet? Nope, we agree on that one too. What issue could be so important that it has fractured parliament and furthered the rift between the two cultures of this peaceful nation?

The Rugby World Cup, of course.

You see, apparently World Cup rugby is so important that it is every kiwi’s right to watch it. That is why the National (conservative government) just had to step in when the tv station that won the right to air it could only provide free coverage to 90% of the population.

Wait, the government stepped in by funding other two other companies’ bids with tax-payer money?

Wait, they told the other companies how much the first company had bid so that they could make sure to win?

Wait, the first company was Maori-TV and the others were pakeha (white) networks?

Ummmm… so all this amounts to illegal activity by the government to spend tax-payer money to ensure that a Maori owned tv station does not win rights to the biggest sporting event in the nation. Quick John Key… back track, back track.

Could you imagine if the US government gave one of our major networks millions of dollars in public funds to block a black network or women’s network from gaining coverage to a major event? It’s crazy. It would never happen.

It’s pretty overt racial discrimination. Luckily, Merlin realized this and took things into his own hands before riots broke out in the streets over the quiddich match (wrong fantasy reference, I know). Let all elves, dwarves, orcs, and hobbits enjoy and be merry.