Wild Wild Vest

I have to approach wedding topics gingerly with Mr. Veggie, lest I be greeted with a roll of the eyes or a throwing up of the hands. (Has Mr. Veggie turned into a teenage girl?)

Source: Shutterstock

Attempt#1 (while walking to the beach for a surf)-
Me: So, have you thought about what you might want to wear to the wedding yet?
Mr. Veggie: I thought I might just wear this. (“This” meaning a pair of bright green board shorts with hot pink stars on them that he got for free at the dump).

Maybe that wasn’t the right moment.

Attempt #2 (early one morning)-
Me: Have you thought about what the groomsmen might wear?
Mr. Veggie: Maybe they could all wear sarongs that match this one.

Did I mention that said sarong is so dearly loved and thin that it is see through in some conspicuous places?

Attempt #3 (while working in the garden)-
Mr. Veggie: You know, I’ve been thinking about what I want to wear to the wedding.
Me: [feigning disinterest but internally giddy with delight] Oh, yeah?
Mr. Veggie: I really like vests. I think I’d like to wear one. A jacket will be too hot in August.

A vest? Mr. Veggie doesn’t offer ideas about the wedding too often, and I want to encourage these rare events as much as possible. But, a vest? For some reason this is the image I have in my mind:

Source

Mr. Veggie: I think I like a dark vest with light colored pants.

Whoah. Who is this man? What has he done with my fashion-allergic fiance? A dark vest with light pants. Let me do some research.

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