All posts by ecothriftymama

music

Oh Shenanigans!

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Music. The easiest decision of our wedding. Actually, something we’ve been decided on since before we were even engaged. Contra dance!

Those of you who haven’t spent much time in New England might not be too familiar with this form of dance. Picture square dancing in long lines where you switch partners all the time and every man you dance with tries to prove how macho he is by spinning you faster and faster. So fun.

Mr. Veggie and I aren’t really huge contra dancers. It’s kind of a subculture unto itself that we haven’t fully been inducted into. And needless to say that neither of our families (mine being from New Jersey and his being from Detroit) have much experience at barn dances either. So why have a contra dance at our wedding?

Well, we like it. And we think its fun. And we think our family and friends will have fun too. Oh, and one of our first dates was to a friend’s barn dance. That night, in the middle of one of the songs the caller worked into his ramblings: “Swing that girl with the long red hair” and later that night Mr. Veggie told me I was the belle of the ball. It was the first time realized that I was actually falling in love with this crazy Veggie farmer living off-the-grid. Sigh.

I researched bands that play in eastern Pennsylvania in hopes of finding a band that wouldn’t have to travel too far to get to our venue. Eventually I found one from Ithaca, New York. A bit far from the carbon-footprint viewpoint at 2.5 hours away, but still relatively close in the scheme of things, and they’re going to carpool. A few emails later, a bit of price negotiating, and we have a band! They are called the O’Shanigans (not the Oh Shenanigans, Mr. Veggie). Aren’t they rad?

They’ve also offered to let us use their sound equipment for the rest of the night, in exchange for accommodation at the camp. Sounds good to us!

What I haven’t figured out yet exactly is the timing of the evening. The band will play for 2 1/2 hours. So, I suppose they will start well after dinner so that people have time to digest before spinning their dinner all over the floor. So what do we do during dinner? When do we do our first dance? Where will speeches fall? How long after dinner should we wait for the band to play? Hmm… lots to think about still.

planning

5 months?

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We hit the 5 month countdown last week and it prompted me to get my butt in gear. So far my planning has mostly been inspiration boards, venue-ing, and more inspiration boards, but this week I’ve been a veggie with a mission (like a secular version of one of those Veggie-Tales characters).


Actually, in all honesty, it wasn’t the 5 month mark that prompted me into action, it was my first visit to an anonymous wedding site that offers a “wedding checklist”. After 8 months of wedding planning I had heard much about this site, but never logged on. As a total wedding novice, the idea of someone giving me a wedding to-do list sounded great, so I entered my email address and wedding date and was promptly greeted with about 100 red alarm clocks smacking me in the face. Really? Whoah!

Being “fashionably late” doesn’t really faze me that much… “on-time” is not a phrase that most people would generally associate with Miss Veggie. But usually I at least have an idea that I’m running behind schedule. This time, no clue. Really. Plus, as previously mentioned, this wedding is supposed to be a way to show off the grown-up more organized me.

I have to say “The Wedding Checklist” was not a boost to my wedding self-esteem. Not only were there about one-hundred-thousand things that we haven’t done yet, there were also a wealth of not-yet-even-thought-about things to do on that list. Feeling a little overwhelmed. 

Where to start? Any other August Brides out there? How far along are you in your planning?

Eco Wedding, the dress

Dress Dilemma: Over

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I bought a dress today. (Insert girly shriek here. OK- I’m done now. No I’m not. eeeee!).

The story starts in December:
After drawing out the dress saga for many months I turned to the wedding bee for help. I had settled on buying used and even had an idea of the specific dress I was looking for. After dwelling on the Nicole Miller HG0013 for a few weeks I found the IK0004 online and just kept coming back to it. I couldn’t get it out of my head. It’s just so pretty without being too formal, and comes pre-wrinkled! I looked online at the pre-owned websites, but even a used IK0004 was well out of our budget. It also seemed to be a pretty in-demand dress, only a few out there and many brides wanting it. I thought I’d throw it out there to the hive to see if anyone had any ideas.

So, my pre-bee self posted a question to the boards. “Anyone have a used IK0004?”. I didn’t have high hopes.

But a few days later, this:

After a few emails it turns out that she had gotten the dress from another bee (who also maybe got it used?). Wait pre-pre-used? That’s even better than pre-used. And since this dress is in it’s third (or is it fourth) generation as a gown, she offered it to me for a great deal. A hmm..-I-can-actually-afford-this-dress-now deal. Yes, yes, yes.

All I had to do was wait until she got married at the end of February.

Fast Forward to March 1:She said she was getting married at the end of February, would it be too early to email her? I better wait a bit.

March 2:
Um, hi. Is my dress (I mean your dress), ready yet? Oh it is? Hooray! Oh you have pictures from your wedding? Do share!

Without further ado, OUR dress, as worn by the beautiful Adriana in her February wedding. It was shipped out last Thursday and is making its way across the Pacific as we speak. I suspect it could be here as early as Monday. (eeeeek!)

OK, enough of the girliness, lets get down to business. Because, for me, more important than getting a specific dress, was getting an ethical dress with a small eco footprint. So how does mine stack up?

– Sweatshop free? Yes. Nicole Miller is an advocate of fair labor practices.
– Eco-fabric? No. Metal taffeta does not sound even remotely eco, but I feel better because…
-Re-used? Yes. In at least 2 other weddings. Hooray!
-Low price? Eh. Low for a designer wedding dress, yes. But still way more money than I’ve ever spent on a single piece of clothing before. But the price is within our budget, and is a number I feel comfortable with. Plus, since the dress is in demand, I think I’ll be able to resell it and pass it onto yet another bride (Assuming I don’t spill red wine down the front ).

Story

Wife

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Mr. Veggie and I are in that weird place where we’re not quite sure what to call each other in public. “Boyfriend”/”girlfriend” sounds like he just asked me to the eighth grade dance. And I certainly can’t use our pet names in public. (Immigration: Why are you applying for this visa. Me: My um… lovey… is a full-time student?)

But “fiance” has just never sounded right to us. Plus, if I introduce myself as Mr. Veg’s fiance it inevitably leads to long conversations about wedding planning and proposals and sometimes I just don’t want to get into all that with strangers (that’s why I have the hive, right?).

Luckily here in New Zealand the use of the word “partner” is fairly common, and we’ve taken to using that pretty often. But it does sound pretty formal, and since I have a boyish name can lead to some mild, yet entertaining, confusion.

So, we don’t really have this problem solved, but occasionally if I’m talking to a stranger, who I’ll likely never see again, and Mr. Veggie is out of earshot, and it just seems convenient, I’ll label Mr. Veggie as my “husband”.

I don’t do it very often, but when I do it always makes me smile. I get a little giddy. I feel mischievous. It’s like shaking your Christmas presents to try to figure out what’s inside (which I never do) or skipping ahead to the last page of a novel to find out the ending (which sometimes I do). I get a little embarrassed and look around to see if anyone we know might have overheard my white lie.

But yesterday, when we got to the check-out at the supermarket, each struggling with our overloaded baskets because we definitely weren’t going to buy enough to justify a full shopping cart, I, of course, decided I needed to go back to grab one more thing. Mr. Veg started to unload his 50 kg basket onto the conveyor belt and a woman stepped behind him in the line. I was coming back up the aisle and overheard this tidbit.

Mr. Veggie: “Um excuse me, but my wife just ran to grab one more thing, she’ll be right back”.

Be still my heart. He does it too! I melted.

Farm wedding, kiwi as, Photography

Kiwi-Chilean Wedding

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Who doesn’t love some real-wedding inspiration? I certainly do. Here’s a southern-
hemisphere shindig that we went to last week celebrating the marriage of our friends
Matt and Claudia (how gorgeous are they?).

They got married at a venue called “The Red Barn” in Matamata. Take note all you kiwi brides. If we were getting married in New Zealand, this is where I would go. It was amazing. A huge outdoor fireplace, and beautiful indoor/outdoor reception area.

Claudia’s parents rode a bus 22 hours to get to Buenos Aires from their home town of Barriloche and then had to board a plane for 13 hours. Matt worked hard to practice his vows en español and all of the speeches were translated so that her parents didn’t miss a beat.

The ceremony was outside under a huge beautiful oak tree.

Late night party hats, masks, boas, and whistles.

It was such a fun and beautiful wedding. And, an added bonus was that seeing a wedding unfold suddenly inspired Mr. Veggie to have a wealth of wedding ideas. He’s been all wedding talk for the past three days. He’s made unprompted suggestions about favors, table settings, and center-pieces. I’m starting to worry about him.

Another bonus: The wedding was in Matamata, a.k.a. Hobbiton, where the Lord of The Rings Hobbit Village was located during filming. No, we didn’t go on a tour. Who needs to with photo opportunities like this right in the center of town?

*All photos by me.



Uncategorized

Adventures in Babysitting

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For the past three days we have had our first overnight house guest. Her name is Piri and she’s 2 1/2. Piri stayed with us while her mom went to Taupo to load the moving truck and bring all of their belongings back to Raglan. We’re exhausted.

Honestly I don’t know how single moms do it. There were two of us. And she had us beat. Easily.

We climbed up into our “up high” bed (all three of us) and slept hard, both nights. And at 9:30 I’m just barely hanging on tonight.

Before I go to bed, top three moments of the weekend:

#3: Bath in a bucket. (Piri, not me)

#2: The scientific experiment of testing the diameter of a dried pea vs. the diameter of a toddler nostril. No harm done. After a few tears and a bit of firm pressure above the pea, all is well.

#1: Me coming out of the house and seeing Piri running over. “Dani, Uncle Melsom needs help. He’s stuck.” Turns out that the latch on the outside of the door of our outdoor shower is not childproof. It is in fact child friendly. And a good way to trap an unexpecting adult.

She was clever and beautiful and funny and fun, but I think we’ll hold off for a while.

Eco Thrifty Wedding, Uncategorized

I’m a bee!

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First off, apologies. I know I haven’t been posting much lately. But we’ve had a lot going on, least of which was a parasite that decided to take up residence in my gastrointestinal system. There also been a timber fram workshop that Nelson ran a few weeks back, and an exciting recycled raft race that I took part in this morning.

But really, the most blog-distracting of all events has been my acceptance as a bee. From now on, in addition to posting here, I’ll also be posting on Wedding Bee as Ms. Veggie. I know, who would’ve thought that there would be a Ms. Veggie icon ready for me to snatch up? I’ll be writing about our wedding planning process as we attempt to throw together an eco-fun-budget extravanagza.

Posts about the timber frame workshop and recycled raft race coming soon. Cross my heart!

Family

Bridal Baby Bump?

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One week ago, for the fourth time in 6 weeks, I found myself praying to the porcelain god. You know, tossing cookies. Ummm…. Hurling.


Source

Get it? A veggie puking? I crack myself up.


I know what you’re thinking, because I was thinking it too. So were the veggie girlfriends, Momma Veggie, SIL Veggie, and pretty much every other woman in our lives.


That’s why while Mr. Veggie was holding my hair and bringing me glasses of water I was counting on my fingers. Hmmm it’s March now and August is 1..2.. 6 months away. And crying.


“I’m not going to be able to drink at our wedding.” (Sob)

“And I wont fit into any wedding dresses.” (Sob, Sob)

“I’m going to be a pregnant bride.” (Loudest Sob)


Note: Do not try to be rational when you are throwing up. It doesn’t work.


If available, my rational self would have responded to irrational me as follows:

“Miss Veggie, you get drunk after 2 beers, how much are you really planning on drinking anyway?”

“And look, here’s a couture maternity wedding dress designer.”

“But most importantly, Miss Veggie, you haven’t taken a pregnancy test, have a fever and a stomach ache, and are currently having your period. Maybe you’re not pregnant at all.”


Oh rational self, you’re too clever. Mr. Veggie and I went to the doctor the next day. After some tests and belly tapping it became clear. There’s no fetus in my belly, but there is a parasite. Blastocystis hominis has taken up residence in my stomach. Apparently it comes from contaminated drinking water and leads not only to stomach issues, but also to weight loss and fatigue. Hmmm… is that why the only thing I’ve wanted to do for the past few weeks is lay around and surf wedding websites? I have kindly urged it to leave with some strong antibiotics. I’ll let you know how it goes.


After some thought, it certainly wouldn’t be the end of the world if a little veggie sprout decided to come along in the next few months. I mean its no secret that Mr. Veg and I are already sharing a house(truck) so no one would be too alarmed. It wouldn’t be perfect timing, but it wouldn’t change the fact that Mr. Veggie and I want to honor our love for each other by getting married. Plus all of our friends and family would be able to give their love and best wishes to veggie sprout before he or she even entered the world. And there is no more beautiful site than a gorgeous big-bellied gaia goddess momma-to-be. All the same, I think we’ll be extra careful for the next little while.


Congrats to any pregnant brides out there, whether it was a fully planned or surprise sprout. Have you had to adjust your wedding plans much? Have any hints for other mommas-to-bee (ha ha)? Have any of you other bees been scared into celibacy for a while?

Camp Wedding, Colors, Inspiration Boards

Inspiration 2.0

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I have a problem. I really like inspiration boards.
That was an understatement.
I love them.
Well, let my addiction and source of hours of procrastination be your eye candy. I unveil Veggie Weddin-spiration Version 2.0.

Any ideas on where to use the amazing, yet prohibitively expensive fabrics? What do you think of having so many colors? Too much? Most importantly, is there a place in the wedding party for moustaches?
Camp Wedding, Save The Date, Story

I am calm. Really I am.

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I don’t know if you bees remember, but down here on the farm us Veggies were having a bit of a venue crisis. After much crying, and begging, and more crying, and supportive words from Mr. Veggie, it became clear that we were not going to get our date at our venue.

I tested out a mantra: “I am calm. I am at peace. All is well.”

We were left with two options, find a new venue or switch dates. I was a mess.

Should we stick with the same venue and move our wedding to September, even though this would be extremely inconvenient for our friends and family who work at prep schools? Or should we backtrack and try to find another venue even though I felt as though I’d contacted every camp on this side of the Mississippi?

At this point I was repeating that mantra like a full-fledged Buddhist monk.

Funny enough my biggest concern through all of this was our STD’s. In the back of my mind I was pretty sure we would find another venue or that somehow the date would work out, but I was absolutely distraught at the idea of re-sending out STD’s. I’m not really a crier. But we’re talking full-on tantrum here.

After a few days (weeks) of thought I think I’ve figured out why I was so upset.

It all goes back to me generally not being good at completing projects, and me seeming to attract little mix-ups like this, and most of all putting way too much pressure on myself to make the wedding perfect. I’m an ADHD over-achiever, with some serious self-doubts when it comes to the ability to follow things through. I was viewing the wedding as an opportunity to show off the detail-focused, budget and time responsible, grown up version of me. Resending the STD’s would flaw our perfect wedding image from the very start.

Of course, in the moment I couldn’t put words to any of that, but now that the venue crisis is over, I can say “Miss Veggie, chill out”. The wedding is a wedding, nothing more, nothing less. It’s an opportunity for us to be surrounded by people we love, eating good food, dancing, and listening to good music.

Oh yeah, did I mention that our venue crisis is over? O-V-E-R.

The Veggie crew far and wide pulled together once they heard that our venue basically booted us from our date. While Mr. Veggie and I were debating the possibility of changing dates and staying at the same venue, some amazing veggie friends and family sprung into action researching other summer camp options. For two weeks they (and we) called, emailed, and googled their little hearts out. And, in the end, it all worked out for the better.

I’ll unveil our new venue shortly. Mr. Veggie is afraid we’ll jinx it if we announce too soon, and I can’t say I blame him. So, I’m testing out a new technique… I think they call it patience. It’s a new one for me. I’ll let you know how it works out.