We took the first step our adoption journey on May 7, 2013 with a phone call and then a visit to Child Youth and Family Services NZ. 249 days later and although we have taken many steps towards our goal, it feels like we are still 1,000 miles away.
Why does the Tao Te Ching have to be so gosh darn right all the time?
For us adoption has always been something we have thought about, for reasons I may explore in another post. But when our daughter turned 6 months old we (I) decided it was time to take some concrete steps towards making it happen. So then we (I) did some calling around and signed us up for an upcoming information session about adopting in New Zealand. Maybe it was infant-induced sleep deprivation, the appeal of talking to other grown ups about something other than poop, or the lure of free cookies but we (yes, we!) were actually really excited about it.
So on the actual night of the presentation we may have been a few minutes late. And we may have forgot to mention that we’d be bringing a 6 month old with us. And Eco-Thrifty Hubs may have had to pee like 15 times during the 90 minute presentation. And then he may have had to leave to entertain and soothe our screaming infant. Nothing like making a good first impression on the people who are going to scrutinize EVERY SINGLE DETAIL of your life to determine whether or not they will assist you to make you dream come true.
But they must have thought we had potential because we walked away with an application form and the dates of the two mandatory parenting seminars that all prospective adopting and fostering families must complete. The social worker did offer a bit of advice on our way out the door – “You might want to find a babysitter for the next session”.
We left that first session with so many questions, but I couldn’t stop smiling. The following Sunday, on Mother’s day, I wrote a note to our child. “I have so many questions right now, but mostly I am just so happy. Happy that we have so much love in our family. Happy that we have a beautiful daughter. Happy that somewhere, somehow, out in the world, things are starting to happen that will bring you to us”.
That was 249 days ago. The first step of thousands. I’ve been dealt a reality check over the past 7 months about the excruciatingly slow pace of this process. I am still happy. I am still optimistic. But it is hard to stay patient and positive through a process filled with so many unknowns.